The Week in Pictures

Barn owl population multiplies as food supply increases. Voles forced to take extreme measures.

The Week in Pictures

Apple wins dispute over who owns slide to unlock patent. Blacksmiths everywhere fear legal challenge.

Typosquatters Get the Boot

Two firms have been fined one hundred grand
For charges getting out of hand.
The money made through competitions
Was in breach of the law said the watchdog’s decision.

The companies plan on you making a typo
When looking for sites such as Facebock or Skypo.
The pages appear under their guise
Asking for details in exchange for a prize.

Once they’ve got your number the cash that they make
Is through charging for texts at a premium rate.
The lack of clear pricing regarding the cost
Has led to a refund of what customers lost. 

So, if Twutter’s not asking if you’re a member
And Wikipodia’s not quite how you remember,
There’s a good chance that you’re on to a swizz
Especially when told that ‘You’ve just WON our quiz!’

On this Day in ...

On this day in ‘84
Torvill and Dean took to the floor,
Winning gold with their Bolero
At the winter Olympics in Sarajevo.

Twenty-four million watched them compete
A rating that Dancing on Ice can’t repeat.

Five years later in ‘89
The Iranian leader waxed divine,
For alleged blasphemy against Islam
He issued a fatwa on Rushdie, Salman.

Not quite the three words you want people to say
Did the Ayatollah not know it was Valentine’s Day?

It's not right but it's OK

If I told you that on the day that Whitney died
The cost of her albums went up, would you be surprised?
All at once the fans complained, Twitter was inundated
Itunes refused to comment but the price was reinstated.

Is it really disrespectful to charge more now that she’s gone?
Would we still all buy the album if she’d lived to carry on?
Hotels charge more in summer as do restaurants at night
It’s a consequence of high demand whether wrong or right.

Were those who got so emotional at the inflated CD cost
Angry at the diva’s passing or at the three pound more they lost?

The Week in Pictures

Greeks in talks over accepting bailout offer from Eurozone

The Week in Pictures

Madonna performs half time show at Superbowl

A Beginner's Guide to Phone Hacking

It’s easy work to hack a phone,
With a friend or own your own.
It makes for an exciting story
With no source to take the glory.

The question that you might be asked
Is whereabouts you got your facts?
But it’s a problem quickly remedied
Start your story ‘an insider said to me’.

Thought lately I have heard it said
That those who make their daily bread
Making public private speeches
Are guilty of privacy breaches.

It’s rich to hear it called a sin
From those already cashing in
On making their lives known to all
Who get annoyed at one tapped call?

Now I hear the Leveson enquiry
Say it’s wrong to hack a phone or diary.
When did it become a crime
To publish what was never mine?

It’s easy work to hack a phone
Though maybe you should leave alone,
At least for now while there’s demand
To place the guilty in remand.
It might be simple hacking phones
But is it really worth the moan?

A Glossary of Media Terminology #3

Free press: noun;
1. A body of publishers not regulated by government or morals
2. Publications distributed for free and characterised by high levels of advertising

 

A Glossary of Media Terminology #2

Insider: \ in-sid-er\ noun;
1. From the Latin thensedher meaning fictitious, made up.
2. A euphemism for certain professions or distant relations such as cleaner or cousin’s boyfriend, e.g, ‘An insider revealed the actress is battling depression after public break up’.
3. See also source, close friend.

Russia Gives Europe the Cold Shoulder

Europe is in a great big freeze
Poland has been brought to its knees
The Ukraine is much of the same
As are the Slovaks,
The Croats and Greeks.

Russia decreased its gas supply
To neighbours who really need to buy.
For hours, they had no power
Officials at hand
Blamed demand too high.

England has had a little snow
It’s common but you’d never know.
Flurries have caused grave worries
Affecting train lines
And plane times and roads.

North winds have brought the cold air here
High pressure stops warm air getting near
Will it be longer ‘til it gets warmer?
Not ‘til we forego
East air flows, at least.

Jubilees are Forever

Prime ministers aren’t forever,
It doesn’t take too much to sack them,
Only for the party not to back them.
They may resign in the night,
I’ve a fear that they might, desert me.
But monarchs are forever,
This year’s her diamond celebration.
As the master of games
She’ll lead a fleet down the Thames,
And cross the UK.

It’s not from love
That I’m making a big fuss,
They’ve gave a bank holiday to us
And I’m happy to doff
To get a day off, from working.

Monarchs are forever,
She’s outlasted Churchill and Blair
For sixty years she’s hung in there.
MPs are mere subjects who
Are not worth going to, the polls for.

I don’t need Cameron,
And what good will Clegg do me?
Lizzy never lies to me,
When the Tories are gone
She’ll last on.

The Week in Pictures

London Olympics threatens to push transport capacity over its limit

The Week in Pictures

Dicovered copy of Mona Lisa sheds light on Da Vinci

The Week in Pictures

Europe's cold snap reaches Turkey

The face that sank a thousand jobs

Was this the face that sank a thousand jobs
And forced the populace to invest?
To brace the loss they paid a lavish sum
His knighthood taken as redress.

I speak of Goodwin of RBS
Who led the seize upon the Dutch,
And bought a bank for a sumptuous price
Which cost the country twice as much.

Once the Trojan horse had been welcomed in
It wasn’t long until the walls were breached,
And ruin brought by a swift recession
Not since the second world war was reached.

Was it enough his honour stripped
When still he reclines in pomp and splendour?
Is there to be no just recourse
For the folly of a financial lender?