April Introduction (and other words that end in -tion)

A record warm March was a great introduction
For the UK who jumped on a hopeful presumption
That summer would come without interruption
But snowfall has shattered this eager assumption.

Worldwide, drivers saw sat-navs malfunction
Caused by an unknown software disruption
Leaving road users without an instruction
As to where they should turn when they get to each junction.

In Edinburgh Zoo they have held an induction
Hoping their pandas will start reproduction
But the problem is in their genetic construction
They’ve only got 2 days when everything functions.

Meanwhile, Greece has been victim of further dysfunction
As Mount Etna discharged a volcanic eruption
At the same time two Greeks have been charged with corruption
When their antique statue was confirmed reproduction.

Edinburgh Zoo acquires cash cow. Or should that be panda?

Long ago in evolution,
The panda chose a strange solution;
To only eat shoots of bamboo
And relocate to where it grew.

So after 5 years’ negotiation
It seemed to most a great occasion
When China made a gift of two
And sent them off to Edinburgh Zoo.

They came by plane to bond our nations,
To aid research and education,
To help the panda’s conservation,
But, what about the rich donations?

From visitors who flocked to view
The half a million revenue
We pay each year to keep the bears.
A princely sum for just a pair.

Any hints of a commercial deal
Lie buried under public zeal,
And motives not quite black and white
Are wrapped up in the fiscal plight

Of the zoo which felt reduced exposure,
Which closed the exotic bird enclosure,
And started charging guests a fee
For a parking space that once was free.

So now the park has got a lift
From China’s diplomatic gift
And think of the financial boost
Having bear cubs might induce.

Yet it might prove a risk to count
Bamboo shoots before they sprout.
Not only difficult to feed,
Notoriously hard to breed,
And it only took a month until
The furry pair had fallen ill
With colic as the diagnosis,
But homesickness a clear prognosis.

Now they're both back on display
After all, who else would earn their pay?















Pandas fight for the window seat on flight to Edinburgh